I participated in a four-day Appreciative Enquiry workshop at Malaspina U-C last week. Appreciative Inquiry is based on the assumption that every human being and every human system is good at the core and that when we draw out that good, positive change happens.

On the third day, I chose to work with a small group on one of the corner stones of our Neighbourhood Heroes philosophy, "Small, positive actions can make a big difference in your own life and the lives of others." In the process heard five short Neighbourhood Heroes stories - Two of them are mine.

Ruth Malli, Ladysmith's City Manager, started by telling us about a woman she sees frequently who begins every day, early in the morning, quietly picking up the garbage in a lane near her house.

When you see someone doing something like that, she said, you know it is going to inspire others to do similar small things and that makes a big difference in a community.

Then Colleen McGuff-Dean told two stories that demonstrate our thesis.

First she recalled the time in grade two when her class was learning how to write, and her teacher, Mrs. Neave, complimented her on her "R". In fact she thought it was so good she wanted to show it to the whole class.

Colleen resisted because she had made some earlier "mistakes" and there were dark erasure marks on the paper, but Mrs. Neave showed her work anyway. However, when she held it up, she covered the erasure marks with her hand.

"I felt both validated and protected," Colleen told us.

That small incident sparked Colleen's life long passion for learning ... and calligraphy ... and led to her becoming a teacher.

Colleen's second story is a great example of how small things can keep a marriage vibrant.

After a long, tiring day at our workshop, she was driving, lost in thought, behind her husband when she looked up and caught him flashing an "I love you" in sign language out his window (Tuck in your two middle fingers and extend the other two and your thumb)

That small, thoughtful action, she said, changed the rest of her day.

Hearing these stories, I thought of two of my own.

When I was four and a half or so, three of my uncles were leaning back against an old, black Ford car with their heels hooked on the bumper, teasing me to the point of tears about Melba Cole, a young girl who lived across the road from me. The teasing seemed to go on for hours until eventually they got bored and left.

A little later one of them returned to offer me the following counselling.

"If you had said, 'Melba is the most beautiful girl in Campbell's Bay'", he told me, if you hadn't let them know you were embarrassed, "the teasing would have stopped right there."

A terribly shy boy before, I learned that day to step into things that make me feel uncomfortable with a "fake it till you make it" attitude. That lesson had a huge impact on the rest of my life.

Around the same time, I was playing with Melba in her yard when she had to go in, so I returned home and brought one of her toys with me.

When my Mom saw it, she asked if I had permission to bring it home. Although I certainly had no intention of stealing it, I didn't have permission, so she made me take it back immediately and apologise to Mrs. Cole.

That was the longest trip of my life and I have been honest to a fault ever sense.

Thanks Mom.

There's no doubt, small things can make a huge difference in both our lives and the lives of people around us.