When I spoke at RYLA last month (Rotary Youth Leadership Awards), I stressed many of the concepts taught in the Our Hidden Heroes Education Program.

I spoke about simple well known things such as the importance of seeking out and celebrating the best in ourselves and each other, and the concept that when we change the way we relate to others, others tend to change the way they relate to us. I also pointed out that the smallest carrot is often more effective than the biggest stick.

A week or so later one of our Vancouver Island RYLA students emailed me to say she was using these ideas to encourage a friend of hers to begin attending class more regularly. It seems that in the past no matter how much she and her friends "bugged" this person, she wouldn't stop skipping school.

A couple of days ago, I emailed my RYLA student to see how things were going with her friend, and got the following email in return. She asked me to keep her and her friend anonymous.

"So before RYLA," she began, "we would always get mad at our friend and disappointed with her and try to make her go to school.

"I think one of the key things I learned at RYLA that changed all that is how we cannot change others, only change ourselves and hope to influence through our own actions. So here’s what I did.

"Basically I created a chart and taped it to her locker, with the blocks (class times) across the top and the days of the week down the side. I titled it her 'Back-to-School-Program' and added 'Dream Big Dreams!' underneath.

"The bottom of the chart says, 'I believe in you, Love [my name].' The agreement was that I would come by once a day for us to check off all the classes she went to and put an "X"in the ones she didn't -- I am proud to say she hasn't got one "X" since we started.

"If she goes to all four blocks, she gets a happy face (sad face if not). Three days in a row gets a star sticker, and a whole week gets a dinosaur sticker.

"She's been doing so well, we just added a prize for a whole month in a row. If she makes it, I will take her out for a treat like ice cream or lunch or something.

"Explaining it seems silly and kind of immature, but we both get really excited for each level she passes and she's happy about going to class instead of feeling guilt tripped, which is also really important.

"It was amazing how much of a difference the switch to positive reinforcement made, and I think I'll remember that for a really long time."

Can you see why I am so passionate about the Our Hidden Heroes Program? Is there a lesson here for most of us? How about you?